it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize