1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
