I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
