I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
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