I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
it's like heaven, but drunker
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
