you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
