Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
