and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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