he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
