yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
