I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
What a fucking waste of an outfit
grandma shit on top of the toilet
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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