I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
