I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
