She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
