help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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