If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
