i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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