yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
