who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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