I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Pants are for mortals
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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