YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize