she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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