Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
