There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize