You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
