I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
