Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
