how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
