u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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