You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
that's an acceptable place to lick
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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