If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she told me i tasted like america
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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