I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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