I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
