Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Best friends brother. Beat that.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
