i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
