It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
