So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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