Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
