I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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