If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
