Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
