We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
