i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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