I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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