i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
