No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
