we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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