The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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