you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
