my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
