I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
