You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
