I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
