I must be too annoying 4 u.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
