i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
