yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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