I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
