I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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