you traded sex for a burrito?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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