I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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