just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize