How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
