sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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