I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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