she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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