you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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