Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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