I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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