when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize