don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
