I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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