I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
