so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
