remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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