I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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