so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
