return my video game
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
