I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
