I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize