They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
